May 2013
mollywhoaftw:
crowleys-angel:
crayolaxmonster:
tayvengeance:
4rcticmonkey:
Sometimes i talk in song lyrics and my friends don’t even notice
sometimes I talk in Mean Girls quotes and no one notices
Sometimes I talk and nobody notices
At first it was funny but then it got kind of sad
Just like my social life
starksexual:
i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it
chefboyardeezie:
banjo-jeff:
chefboyardeezie:
when im rich the first thing im doing is getting laser hair removal on every inch of my body that isn’t my head
you’ll look pretty funny without eyebrows
im at least 3% sure that my eyebrows r on my head
“I personally love Jennifer Lawrence. She’s an amazing actress, but so young and...”
– Maria Sharapova (via jenniferlawrencedaily)
When people don't understand
Harry Potter fans: muggles
Mortal Instruments fans: mundanes
Percy Jackson fans: mortals
Tumblr: peasants
abarestorytotell:
if you think i’m ugly now you should have seen me in 2009
raini-holiday:
if this post gets 15,000 notes i will talk like Luigi for my entire graduation trip and upload a video of it
me: whoa it sure is late, time to go to be-
me: is that a 30,000 word fanfic
do you ever just rub your eyes so hard that you just start entering some other fucking galaxy of swirls and patterns
petparent:
poopflow:
do you ever feel like a plastic bag
No, I always feel like a Prada bag
psilentasincjelli:
If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking things online for about an hour immediately after that, I promise I wasn’t lying to you, I’m just bad at going to sleep and it is usually a long process that begins with disengaging from any sort of immediate contact with people (chats, for example) and ends when everything on my screen is blurry and...
emilioestevez:
story time
so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.
andtheniwaskilled:
Changing your url, icon and blog title all at the same time more like
Person: hey have you read any good books lately?
Me: are you ready for this conversation
